The Villain Life
by Nera789
Summary: Heres a collection of short stories and one-shots I have occasionally thought of. They range at times from before, during, and after the movie, and some may correlate with my other stories, and if so, I'll make a note of it.
1. Even Villains Have a Heart

**Heres a couple short 'what if' one-shots and short stories that I had occasionally thought of. There will be both post and pre-movie time set stories, but I will tell you which is which in author's notes like this one. As the name implies, its mostly centered around Megamind, but even though he is a hero after the movie, it doesn't necessarily mean everyone views him that way, and you'll understand better after I finish these first few. ;) Some may also be based on my other stories aswell, and if they are, I'll make sure to make a note of that.**

**Time set before the movie.**

**'Even Villains Have A Heart'**

**Escape plan #34- A **_**shocking **_**discovery!**

Megamind stepped proudly out into the prisonyard with a spring in his step and a grin on his face. The fence enclosing the prisoners was given a electric current, and raised about 5-10 feet higher. The doors to inside of the prison were locked, and a solid metal gate rose up over each of them. Megamnd also wore a wristband, that shocked him any time his would attempt to dig into the ground, with a device or not. A barely visable mesh fence domed over the prisonyard and was also electricuted.

As he walked passed, the rest of the prisoners cautiously and discreetly eyed him, hoping he wouldn't make eye contact with them and by _God _not acknowledge them. He was in a good mood, and that was a bad sign.

He had never tried to rule over anyone or bully the other prisoners, and for the _most_ part, he didn't ever speak to anyone. Why would he need to? They knew what he was capable of, he never needed to enforce it any farther(and besides, acknowledging someone was showing that they were worthy enough of his presence...which clearly was not the case and he tried avoid).Though they knew that if he had tried anything, they were to keep their mouths shut; otherwise they would pay for it. Just last week, a new guy had called out to the guards as he was disabling the electric fence, and the current had _'accidently'_ nicked him. Not enough to kill him, but just enough to keep him occupied on the ground and quiet for a while.

Though the prisoners still knew his voice. They had heard him on the television with his battles against Metro Man, and he _did _speak to the guards and the warden. There were three other prisoners he would socialize with, but they had either already gotten out, or moved to another prison.

As he walked into the center of the courtyard, he took in a deep breath, feeling the eyes that were hidden but glued to him as he sighed out.. It annoyed him how people were so _nosy. _How they strived to know everything going on around them. This was usually common, but him being in a good mood, he wasn't about to let anyone ruin it. His eyebrow furrowed, and he turned around.

"Well? What're you staring at?" The prisonyard immediately looked away and he was satisfied with the results. Not soon after did he hear a far off cry for help. He took a step toward it and squinted his eyes to get a better look. A large, stocky man had a blonde boy, somwhere around 17-19 years old, by the scruff of the neck. He walked a few steps closer, and could faintly hear the conversation.

"You thought you could take my ration? Huh?" The boy was lifted higher.

"No, no! I told you, it wasn't me!"

"Tough luck, Sherlock. You're 'bout to learn what prison lifes' really like!" The man pulled his fist back, when the small, blue villain stopped him.

"Excuse me?" Megamind asked calmy but with a hint of aggravation and the man gave him a nasty look. Obviously newcomers.

"What do _you_ want, you little freak?" Megamind huffed. His day had been perfect up til now. He would have to waste his new invention on _this_. It had been cleverly slipped as a gift from Metro Man. But the warden was smart; after this, it'd probably be the last time he was fooled. The warden would probably keep it or something...and maybe he could use that to his advantage in a future escape plan.

The prisonyard turned back to the blue villain again.

"Seeing as though you're _new, _because you obviously don't know who _I am, _I should probably give you a rundown of how things play out around here. This kids' what? Ten? Twenty years younger than you? Thats not fair at all. I think I'll play on his side. Even things up a bit." The boy looked down at Megamind with a confused, yet sympathetic expression. This little blue guy was a _third _of this man's weight and probably two thirds his height. He could easily pick him up by the neck with one arm, with the boy in the other.

"_You?_ Even things up a bit? Pshhh, ok."

"First, put the boy down."

"Whatever you say." The man mocked and dropped the boy. He scrambled over to the blue stranger's side and watched. The man raised his fists to his face and stood at an angle from Megamind. He began to dance around on the balls of his feet, and Megamind rolled his eyes. He didn't have time for this.

Just as the man flexed his arm to strike, Megamind pulled out a pen from his pants pocket. The man was instantly transformed into a small blue cube. The pen was a prototype, but it seemed to work. Megamind picked up the cube and handed it to the boy.

"Just don't let it get wet." The cube dropped in his hands and he looked up.

"Who are you?" He asked, squinting his eyes at his savior.

"You truelly are not from around here, are you?" Megamind laughed, patting the boy's shoulder, "Whats your name?"

"Johnathan."

"Well, Johnathan, you'll learn who I am soon enough. In fact, watch the tv tonight, around 6 O'clock, ok?" Megamind said as he twisted the pen to a different setting.

"Oh...O-ok." In a fluant motion, he aimed the pen at the wall, and short-circuited the electic fence. He switched the pen again, aimed again, and a hole was blasted through the wall. He climbed out, and just before guards arrived and the villian disappeared with the brainbots lifting him into the air, he saluted the boy.

**Nit-picks, comments, questions, and suggestions are all **_**greatly**_** appreciated, and I **_**do **_**read all of them!**


	2. Freedom Has A Price

**I don't know why, and I don't know if its the same for you guys, but for whatever reason, any type of natural thing that would happen in real life, a lot of them seem so awkward and weird when Megamind does them. I don't know; maybe you'll see what I mean once you read this.**

_Escape plan #47- What was I thinking?_

"Your honor, if you don't mind, I would like to request an intermission." The blue villain asked cooly.

"Your reason for it?"

"I need to use the bathroom."

"Objection, your honor-" A man demanded from the other side of the room.

"Over ruled. He has to go, let him. I don't see much harm in it." The judge hit the mallet on the stand and two men lifted Megamind up by the arms and onto his feet. They guided him toward the bathroom, and took off his handcuffs.

"Don't try anything cute, ok? I'm really not in the mood to chase you down." One of the men said.

"Not an issue. One thing, though...One of you may want to check in there; maybe see if there are any windows I can escape out of first." The man gave him a funny look, suspiciously going into the bathroom to inspect it while the other waited with the villain.

He returned.

"Nope. No windows. Seems you're out of luck today, Megamind."

"I sure am, aren't I?" He said with a smirk as he casually walked into the facilities and rubbed his wrists, his hands now free. He walked into a stall, and quickly grabbed a small plastic box from his pocket. There was a small chip on the inside of it, and he placed the box onto the toilet seat. He grabbed a pen from is pocket, which was mainly a stealthy version of his dehydrator gun, and a small piece of paper, which he placed on the ground.

"It sure is a good thing pens aren't suspicious. Or at least, with other people-" He smirked to himself. He pressed the small chip on the inside of the plastic box and quickly clambered to stand on the toilet seat. He would regret this, but if it was all timed right, he'd have a sure-fire escape. After pressing the chip, he pulled down on the toilet handle, and dehydrated himself with the pen. It all worked perfectly; the cube landed in the plastic box, the box was sealed as the weight inside triggered it, and it landed in the swirling water.

"Hes taking quite a bit of time in there."

"We should probably check." The officers entered the empty bathroom.

"Hey Houdini, you in here?" They began to search the stalls, until they made it to the closed, but unlocked fourth one down. They opened the door, and found the small slip of paper on the ground. On it, it read:

"I wouldn't worry about the windows." The man crumpled it up in frustration and threw it back on the ground.

"We lost him!"

Two minutes later, the plastic box had reached the main sewer system. The chip was designed to break the seal of the plastic box and allow moisture to make it's way in. Unfortunately for the villain, that moisture wasn't exactly desirable.

_"Echkkk!" _Megamind cringed as he moved onto the small stretch of paved cement on the side. He dry heaved as he realized just how bad his situation was.

"_**What **_was I _**thinking**__?" _He said as he stood up. Luckily, he had planned ahead with Minion to leave him extra clothing beside the pipe his cube had travelled down, along with some other short-term cleaning necessities. After changing, he travelled for the first manhole that led out. It was probably the most disguisting thing he had ever done, but freedom had a big price when you were a wanted supervillain.

**I don't know why, but when I wrote this, I couldn't stop laughing at the 'Echkkk' sound. It just sounded funny. haha!**


	3. Villains Don't Hit Girls

**Time set before the movie.**

"Another successful failed attempt, sir...so now what?" Minion asked. Megamind looked over at the reporter tied to the chair.

"Hmmm...I suppose we should get her back home, shouldn't we?"

"Yes, you_ should_. Because, you know, I _really _don't want to look tired on camera tommorow." Minion retreated to fetch the spray and forget-me-stick.

"Sir, I can't find the spray. Sorry, Miss Richi. The stick will have to do today." As Minion cranked back his arm to strike Roxanne, Megamind anxiously stepped infront of him and lowered Minion's mechanical hand.

"Uh...heh...That won't be necessary, Minion. The sprays' around here, somewhere. You'll find it, I'm sure. Theres no rush." Megamind shot a nervous glance back at the confused reporter.

"Sir?" Minion asked, also with a questioning expression.

"Just _do it, _Minion_!"_

**You don't ever see _Roxanne_ get hit w/ the forget-me-stick, so I figured what with Megamind having a thing for Roxanne, this scenario would've turned up at some point or another. haha **


	4. A Strange Twinkle

**This would have taken place during the movie...somehow it was spured by the song "When September Ends"...Don't ask me how. haha I am thinking about making a seperate story based off of this little blurb, though...so watch for it. ;)**

As the rejected blue villain walked down the wet road flooded with rainwater that emptied into the gutters on the sides of the road and puddled in the depressions of the cement, he focused on the sounds of his footsteps. Hopefully it would keep his mind off of Roxanne. He stopped momentarily when he heard a strange sound that he couldn't pinpoint the origin of. He looked up, his eyes glossy from either the rain or moisure in his eyes, or both. His expression was hopelessly self complacent, before he noticed a smile twinkle in the sky. He cocked his head to the side as he tried to get a better look, but the twinkle sped off into the opposite, faded distance. The clouds were murking up the sky, impairing his vision.

"If thats anything like I think it is..." He shook his head, "I hope it'll be better off then me."


	5. The Villain Never Gets The Girl

**Time set before the movie. **

The warden snapped the handcuffs on the smirking blue villian's wrists, and led him toward his cell. He shoved him in, and the door was immediately shut.

"That's another life sentence, Megamind." The warden said as he fumbled with his keys on the other side of the door and switched off the lights.

"I'll add it to the rest." He called back over his shoulder with a hint of vanity and irritation. He glanced over at the tv that hung above his chair and illuminated the room. It had been broadcasting Metro Man's once again inevitable victory.

_"Your welcome, Metro City. I am honored to be a part of this community and as long as I'm around, you will be safe from Megamind's evil clutches. Including your fabulous reporter, of course.." _Metro Man looked at Roxanne with a glint in his eye, "_You're always safe with me, Roxanne. I'm always one step ahead of that malicious villain. Besides, we can't replace our best reporter, the news would never be the same! Am I right, Metro City?" _The crowd roared in enthusiasm as Metro Man threw an arm over Roxanne's shoulder. She did not lean back in with him, she only seemed to strain a smile as the cameras blinded them.

Megamind had turned away and grimaced just as soon as he saw Metro Man's arm travel from her shoulder to lightly wrap her waist. He sighed irritably as he swiveled the chair with his foot to face away from the TV, the only thing that connected him to the outside world, and he plopped down. He had been through this millions of times, but the hole in which Roxanne would never see him for who he truelly was, never seemed to heal.

"Don't be stupid." He pushed to convince himself with indignant self compliance, "This is how its supposed to be. The villain never gets the girl."

What he had missed was Roxanne had politely stepped away from the self confident hero's hold.

**Kinda depressing; But I imagined Megamind a little more jealous and hard on himself when he was in his 'prime villain' years. lol This idea came from an amv I had made with the song "What Hurts The Most." The lyrics, "Not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do." was what spurred it;(thank you to 'FluffyFurball' for correcting me on the lyrics, initially I thought it was 'not seeing that love in you' instead of 'not seeing that loving you'. At any rate, I had still created the story from it...lol) Anyway, if the lyrics _were _how I thought they were, then an explaination for it would have been that he couldn't bring himself to see Roxanne with Metro Man (him **_**assuming **_**Roxanne liked him), because he himself liked Roxanne. But he also knew that the villain doesn't get the girl, so he tried to ignore his feelings.**


	6. A Ratifying Experience!

_Escape plan # 367- A ratifying experience!_

It was a regular day in the Metro City prison; everyone was eating in the cafeteria and there'd be the occasional fight that'd break out over who had the larger ration of soup, chili, or what ever had been served that day. As Megamind moved into the line, he noticed a rat scurry out from a crack in the wall. He watched as it moved toward the seating and rows of men would notice it and cowar as it approached them. A grin slid across his face; him and Minion had been testing on a few new inventions, and this plan seemed well suited for them. He began to send his cornflake-written notes to Minion for him to decode, and they got to work.

A month or so later was when they planned the escape. It started out as any other day, with hordes of people crowding into the prison's cafeteria to get their food. Megamind sat at the very back empty table once he got his lunch. Luckily for this plan, he had not really 'made friends' with any of the other prisoners. Heck, most of them were scared of him to begin with.

He looked at the clock, and found that it was 2:30. He had 5 minutes before the entire cafeteria and as a result, the entire prison would turn to chaos. He silently ate the food infront of him; it was never appealing, of course, but it was a good way to keep from being suspicious. The minutes ticked away, and he stared patiently at the crack in the wall. Finally, it turned to 2:35, and he watched as a rat scurried its way over to him. It had a small antennae on it's head, and a peculiar watch in it's mouth. It lifted it's head and gave the device to him, its eyes dialated and controlled. Megamind looked over the watch before aiming the side of it at the rat to scan it with a blue, checkered light. He switched the dial and pressed another button, shooting the light at himself and transforming him into an exact replica of the rat with the antennae. Unfortunately, the event had not gone unnoticed.

"Hey!" A guard called out. The rat-shaped Megamind glanced back at the guard, dropped the watch from his mouth and pressed a button with his paw. After picking it back up, thousands of rats swarmed out of the crack in the wall, flooding the entire cafeteria. Hundreds of screams resonated throughout the area from both guards and prisoners alike. The horde of rats scattered around, jumping onto tables, ledges, and even people. No one was hurt (not by the rats, anyway,) but it caused a brilliant distraction. Megamind smiled as he watched the chaos, and the guard that had noticed him transform had already forgotten all about him. He slipped through the crack in the wall, and eventually found his way to the outside of the prison. He laughed (the sound coming out as squeaks) until he turned the dial on the watch and transformed back into his evil, blue self. He saw a little green light blink in the road about 4-5 feet off the ground. He walked up to it, and Minion opened the door of the invisible car. He had in his hands a remote control.

"I'm assuming the holowatch and mind control devices worked, then?" Megamind sighed as he plunked down into the seat of the invisible car.

"Oh, yes, Minion." He smiled, "It was a _ratifying _experience!"

**Ok, a bit of a stupid pun. xD I'm not completely sure if it works, though ratify also means validation and approval, so I guess should work, given the fact Minion was asking if the inventions worked. **

**Sorry about this story being a little rough...**

**That thing about the cornflakes I cannot take credit for; if you listen to the movie's commentary (Yes, believe it or not..I listen to the commentaries of most of the movies I watch...haha) They say they had this elaborate plan for him and Minion to communicate through coded messages on cornflakes, though they had to cut it out due to the limit of run time in the movie. They actually had a lot of stuff they wanted to include but they couldn't...B( **

**Anyway, I thought this plan would have been kind of comical (seeing all these 'tough' convicts screaming as rats swarm the cafeteria) and in Megamind's nature to do. It was definately terrorizing, but he didn't need to hurt anyone to go through with it. **


	7. Comfort

**Time set after the movie.**

"How is she?"

"Not good, sir. Shes not moved since shes gotten back." Minion replied to the blue hero. Megamind's face was overwhelmed with pain and concern, his eyebrows permanently pushed together and his eyes larger than usual. He nodded with his jaw tensed, and walked by into Roxanne's apartment. He found her sitting on the coach with her knees bent up toward her face and her arms wrapped around her legs. It was as if she was uselessly protecting her now empty abdomen, something that had previously held something so precious and dear. But now that it was lost, she felt like her entire world had collapsed around her.

He didn't know where to start. She noticed him standing by the door.

"Hey." Her words strained to reach him. Her face was tired and worn out with red splotches thrown about her face.

"Hey." He said back, taking that as the initiative to step towards her and sit on the couch. Her head turned back to stare at the wall as she spoke.

"I can't believe...its gone..." Her voice cracked at the last word, but she seemed to push to collect herself. One of her hands unlocked from the other one and she cautiously moved it to her stomach without breaking her stare at the wall. She paused for a second, as if she was waiting, _hoping_ for any sign of movement or change...or _something_...but it remained silent. Her mouth creased into a tight line and moved her hand away, as if it were painful to leave it there. She dropped her knees down and crossed them into an Indian style; she fumbled with her hands that were now rested atop of her legs.

"They said we can try again in a month or two." She swallowed and looked at him as she sniffed and ran a hand through her hair. He nodded, and she buried her face into his shoulder, leaning into him. He wrapped his arm gently around her waist, a still sensitive area, and rested his head atop of hers.

"Its not fair." Her voice cracked again, "It's _gone!_...Maybe if I had- W-what if I-...What if it happens again? Or what if it _can't _happen again-" Her last sentence was panicked. He shook his head, unsure himself,

"It'll be ok, Roxanne. We can try again, if you want-"

"I know, but…it won't be the same. We'll never know what he or she looked like…" She took in a raspy breath, gritting her teeth,

"What's wrong with me…?" He held her tighter.

"Nothing, Roxanne. Its just something that happens. Please, nothings' wrong with you. Me being different, it was more likely to happen, I'm sure. You're body wasn't familiar with it. It didn't know how to handle it." Roxanne shut her eyes tight. She knew he didn't bring it up on purpose, but she didn't want to think about the baby's fate. As hard as she tried, it proved fruitless.

_Had he or she starved? Was it suffocation? Had her body just decided to reject the foreign object? _The questions ran through her head over and over again like a broken record she couldn't stop. He felt her shake violently and hopelessly, and even though she didn't speak, refraining from loosing her cool, he realized what she was thinking by her body language, and he immediately regretted what he had said.

"B-but I'm sure it'll still be possible. You were still _able _to get pregnant. Maybe your body just had to adjust." _'Yeah, so the first was just a practice run?' _she thought, but couldn't bring herself to say out loud. She was too exhausted to snap at him and in these circumstances, she didn't want to make anything worse then it already was.

She was absorbed in her thoughts, her expression sealed away and motionless by her already reddened face. In the last few months, she had been waiting for any sign of life that she could _feel. _People always say that the motherly instincts can sometimes heighten your senses, a sort of peaked tuning for sensitivity and touch. But she didn't even know what she would be feeling _for _completely_. _A boy or girl...the regular ivory white that she was, or the uniquely facinating and otherworldy blue that he was...She didn't even know what color eyes to expect. Both her parent's eyes were blue, and his eyes were green, of course...but there was no way of telling what his parent's eyes were. It was still early in the pregnancy; she hadn't even thought of names...

So that was it; her nameless and mysteriously unique child would be lost forever. The only one of it's kind; its father was the last of his people, and she or he was the only one to be created with both his and her human DNA. She had began to be around him so much, that regular people had began to look more and more flawed and boring to her.

And the only reason it was gone, was because her _body _couldn't adjust quick enough, or didn't know what to do. It was as if nature _itself _was rejecting her boyfriend. Like it_ knew_ he didn't belong here. As desperate and mad as she was, she wanted to scream at herself and the world around her. '_Well suck it up! Whats the big deal with who or what he is?"_ She began to question herself, so this was just how life was? Nature had some way of limiting what goes on where, and we would just have to deal with it.

Her boyfriend began to worry as he sat next to her; she hadn't moved or spoken for good amount of time.

"Roxanne?" Her eyes immediately snapped over to him, and he flinched.

"Are you alright?" It was the first thing that popped up, and he felt like smacking himself in the face. Of course she wasn't alright.

Though she nodded weakly before leaning in and surprising him with a gentle kiss. Her lips were weak against his, but it was the only thing she could give him. For now, anyway.

She laid down in his lap, her head resting on his leg across from the other. She fell asleep for a solid hour, and he was very careful not to wake her.

The only movement he made was to cover his arm over hers that was wrapped around her stomach, and with the other hand he gently stroked the side of her face.

**:( I depressed myself typing this. lol**

**If this had happened in one of my stories, it would have probably been during the sequel of 'Heroes Make Mistakes, Too.' (which, yes, I still need to upload...) Or, it would have just been after the movie and if they had tried to have a kid.**


	8. Not My Type

**This is a follow-up story to 'Villains don't get the girl.'**

"I'm researching the town's villain." The brunette reporter replied to the warden, "Don't you have some sort of security tape that watches his cell?" The warden smiled but sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Look Roxanne, of course we do, and because its you and your circumstance, I'd be more then happy to show you…but I'm not so sure if you _want _to see them."

"Why not?"

"I think it'd be better for me to show you then to tell you." The warden motioned for Roxanne to follow him into the security room. Cameras were crowded all along the walls, and to the right when they walked in, was a much larger, black television with a chair facing it. The warden walked to the back wall, pulled out a tape, and shoved it into the VCR beneath the large television. It automatically blinked on, and a fuzzy screen appeared. Roxanne sighed and pulled out a pen and paper as she waited for the video. She looked up at the TV to find the familiar blue supervillain, though, through Roxanne's perspective, he was acting a little strange…at least for _him._ She watched as he watched the TV in his room, and just as Metro Man began addressing himself and Roxanne, he turned away…as if _shameful. _If anything, wouldn't he be _happy _about this? Metro Man was just strengthening his evil status, wouldn't he _want _that?

"Do you have any others?"

"They're all like this, Roxanne…just as soon as he sees you with Metro Man, he gets like this. He'll even listen to Metro Man's introduction speech, but as soon as he addresses _you…_its like he can't watch." Roxanne turned back to the screen, and watched as he sat there silently turned away from his TV. Her eyebrow twitched, and she clicked in her pen; she hadn't even taken any notes.

"B-but why would _he-"_

"I have no clue, Roxanne…villains…don't usually act like this. The only reason he would be doing this would be maybe-" He stopped. _That wasn't possible. _Supervillains are never attracted to the people they kidnap. If they were, why would they put them in danger? Of course unless they were looking for something _else, _but Megamind never tried that with Roxanne.

"I'm sorry, I need to see it for myself." Roxanne said as she ejected the tape from the VCR, grabbed a new one, and popped it in. Just about same scenario played out. Roxanne couldn't believe it. Here was about the most dangerous man on the planet…and he was _sulking _over the fact that Metro Man showed interest toward her. She watched again and again as he would either shake his head at the TV or just turn away immediately.

"I had a feeling the tapes wouldn't be publicized with you. I can trust that they'll stay secret, right? Because legally I can't show anyone, but seeing as though."

"I'm sorry, I have to see him-" She said as she disappeared through the door.

"Miss Richi, I'm not so sure that's a good idea-" He said as he followed her out, but she was already too far infront of him.

"Open the door." She demanded to the man that sat at the controls of the blue villain's cell.

"Miss, I can't-"

"Open the door!" She ignored him and pressed the button herself. The metal door slid open and Roxanne stepped through. The door, for security reasons, shut automatically behind her. The warden caught up,

"Sir I couldn't-" the man babbled.

"Don't worry, it should be fine-"

As she stepped through, the blue supervillain glanced back and did a double take before abruptly standing up.

"Roxanne? What-" For most people, even twenty feet from Megamind was a bit nerve racking. But Roxanne, with all the years of kidnappings and now the verification of the tapes, there was no fear incorporated with him at all.

She advanced toward him, and kissed the shocked villain. If this got out, she would try to somehow write it off as a distraction, but at this moment, she could've cared less. He sighed into the kiss, and wrapped his arms around her waist.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, "Metro Mans' not my type."

**I know this is a little cliché and I would never want to include it in one of my more official stories (off the wall interactions isn't something I usually do), but all of these are 'What if' scenarios, and sometimes clichés can be cute on the surface. I don't know; its really up to the reader to decide. It was just something that came from off the top of my head.**


	9. Temptress

**Ok, for this ones' for you German and Nazi enthusiasts. XD**

**Mostly the point of all these pre-movie settings is to get you more in the feel that, before the movie, Megamind **_**was **_**a villain. His villainous status was kind of softened by Roxanne throughout the movie (I even like of 'awwed to myself at that thought, too. XD) But I'm trying to give a glimpse into Megamind's more evil days…even if they aren't **_**really **_**evil…just a bunch of banter and show, which is exactly what happens here. ;)**

**Though Megamind can get slightly side tracked…and with kidnapping Roxanne, that's probably not a very good idea. ;)**

**This idea came from the song 'Little Tiny Mustache' by Stephen Lynch. You can trust me, its not as bad as him. Haha**

**NOTE: This was not made to offend **_**anyone**_**.**

_Escape plan # 261: Only it wasn't my own…_

After a successful kidnapping, the two villains made their way into the lair. Roxanne sat in her usual chair, and the sack was lifted from off her head.

"You know, Roxanne….I think I have finally figured out what's wrong with you." Megamind said as he passed by her.

"Really." She stated blandly, and he turned back around to face her dramatically.

"Yes!" He branched out his hands then closed them back together with his fingers spread but touching each similar finger of the other hand; a signature gesture for villains, "I have found the solution in how you are unphased by my devilishly handsome good looks. It all fits perfectly now!"

"I see."

"You, Miss Richi, are an Are-yan!"

"A what?"

"An Are-yan. You know; brainwashed Germans…usually work for their government…oh whats it called…a Neigh-zee."

"You mean a Aryan and a Nazi?"

"Yes, that's it. It would explain those tempting blue eyes and red and black dress you're wearing. Brainwashing is the only explanation as to how you're not drawn to _this._" Roxanne couldn't help but laugh.

"So that's your solution…I'm a Nazi, then…tell me, Megamind, how well did you do in history class?" He crinkled his nose then briefly looked away.

"It was a less then desirable course. I didn't care to pay attention." She rolled her eyes.

"I can tell." She smirked, "I think there may be a few holes in your theory."

"And how so?" He turned back.

"Well first of all, I'm a brunette…not a blonde. Aryans have _blonde_ hair and blue eyes. And its not like everything I have and wear is red and black. You should know this, how many times do I see you a week?"

"Do not try to fool me with your brainwashed and tricky ways, communist! And how would I know if brown is your natural hair color?" Roxanne rolled her eyes. "You are obviously just trying to confuse and distract me."

"Sir…you know, um-" Minion tried to cut in.

"Quiet, Minion….I'm concentrating…" Roxanne sighed irritably as Megamind moved closer toward her. A smirk slid across her face as she realized her situation. Maybe if she couldn't dissuade him from thinking she was a Nazi, she could figure a way to use it to her advantage and get out of here.

"Ok, Megamind. You caught me, I'm a Nazi. But you do know who Nazis work for, right?" She figured he'd atleast know that.

"Yes, the man with the… small mustache…uh, the dictator."

"Hitler."

"Right."

"And you know that Hitler was…somewhat of a villian." She raised an eyebrow affectionately at him, and moved slightly closer to him.

"Sir-" Minion started in, unsure.

"Minion, why don't you go see what the brainbots are doing?" Minion, slightly weirded out, reluctantly moved into the other room.

"Who says I wouldn't be attracted to you, then?" She paused before smiling, "So why don't you untie me?" She whispered. He smiled back at her, and as he reached for the rope that bounded her arms, she allowed him to kiss her. As she felt the ropes release her, she stomped down hard on his foot, and he recoiled backwards. She jumped up, and ran toward the first exit she could find. As Megamind looked up, Minion rushed in.

"Sir! What happened?" He asked, though he already knew the answer. Megamind sat back, defeated in his chair, and huffed.

"Temptress."

**And that is why Megamind called Roxanne a temptress. XD When Roxanne, in the movie, says, "please talk slower" hes not going to fool for it again. xD This one was so _weird _to write! Haha I didn't have the guts for them to go any farther.**

**You know, its weird….these two are completely different people before and after the movie. If this were to actually happen sometime in the beginning or so, people would be a little weirded out. But around the middle or end, their interactions are easier and more normal. That's why when you watch the movie the second time around, when you see their little banter episode (the whole temptress and 'spiader' thing) you kind of giggle…because you know they're going to end up together. xD**


	10. Contact

**This will be (hopefully) be made into a larger story( it may just be based off of this idea, I'm not sure yet). I just have so much writing I need to do…my stupid book has been prolonged since December because my e-mail is being stupid with my publishers…I need to start working on the second book to that, I want to finish the sequel to both 'the Naïve Are Easily Frightened" and "Heroes Make Mistakes, Too." Here on fanfiction, I have another fanfic I've been working on but haven't posted, and I have two other stories of my own other then my book that I really need to get going on….(one of them is as old as my book;…about 4 years old. The book just hasn't been submitted and published until this year.) UGH.**

"Sir, is this really necess-"

"Yes, Minion, it is-" Megamind said as he tweaked the radio transmitter-ish looking contraption. A spark zapped him, and he flicked his hand away.

"Well, I just don't want you to get disappointed." Megamind shook his head irritably is he whipped around,

"Minion, wouldn't you like to find another fish like yourself? Wouldn't you like to find _anyone _from our planet? An entire planet can't just be wiped out of existence." He turned back around and his voice was muffled, "If _we_ got out, there has to be a possibility that someone else did, too…"

"But what if no one else _did_? What if _we _were lucky ones?"

"Then I guess that's what we're trying to figure out, isn't it?" The machine sparked once more, only it lit up the second time.

"Sir, people at NASA have been sending out radio signals for how many years now? I'm sorry, but I'm not so sure this will work."

"This is about fifteen times stronger then theirs. Anyone close to us will get a stronger signal, and I can shoot it out farther." He wrapped his hand around a lever, "So why don't we test it out?" He smiled before pulling it down. It roared simultaneously, and to Megamind's right was a screen showing a needle and a line pulling off from it.

'If we got out, there has to be a possibility that someone else did, too…'

Too bad he was right.

And the needle began to fluctuate.

**Truthfully, I don't even see Megamind as an alien anymore, its kinda hard for me too. Though I've been so alien-desensitized after making all the amvs with them, writing a book(essentially) about aliens, watching movies….etc etc etc, seriously, if ever met one, I would probably not be weirded or creeped out at all (that's assuming they aren't like…slimey and have four eyes or something. XD) I'd be very **_**surprised **_**and, truthfully, enthusiastic…but not uncomfortable or creeped out in the slightest. xD**


	11. A Strong Word

**Kind of late for a Valentine's story, but it was just something that I thought was kind of cute. Time set after the movie.**

Megamind and Minion had been out all day taking care of the city. Roxanne on the other hand, had gotten out early; she made her quick report about Valentine's day then was sent home. She made her way into the lair through the secret entrance when she noticed the curtain over the room with all of his blueprints and sketches was closed. Ever since he was Bernard, she had never noticed it being closed, he had no reason for it to be. Curious, she opened the curtains enough for her to walk through, and she gazed down at the door, littered with wads of paper.

Being a reporter, her natural instinct was too investigate. After looking through the crumpled up papers with words already scratched out, she picked up the only paper that was uncrinkled on his desk. Her eyes widened slightly but warmly as she read the note, her hand gradually covering her mouth:

_Roxanne, I'm not the best at poetry…_

_This you should already know._

_But there's always been one thing I've been sure of,_

_It's that you are the gravity that pulled me to Earth._

_You are the one that has guided me in the right path,_

_And I will forever owe my life to you._

_I don't see what you saw in me,_

_Especially now that you know who I really am._

_I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you,_

_I'm sorry for all the lies and tricks._

_Words cannot express the magnitude_

_Of how much pain I have caused you._

_I will never forgive myself for what I did,_

_And the fact that you chose me I will never understand._

_But the thing I always have known,_

_Even when you need to push me away,_

_Is that I love you...and always have._

_Love is a very strong…but very generalized word._

_It's the fact that we all think we know what it is,_

_That makes it loose its meaning._

_I don't want to say the word 'love' like its meaning means the same as any other word._

_This word, for me to you, I want to mean so much more._

_I want it to mean dedication,_

_That I would readily save you from anything we get ourselves into,_

_From any natural disasters,_

_From anyone who decides to put you in harms way._

_I would even readily kidnap you from death if you felt it wasn't your time.'_ She giggled at that, and continued to read,

'_I want it to mean freedom,_

_So that if you ever have a problem, you can always talk to me._

_I never want you to feel that you can't do something because of me._

_I want it to mean security,_

_For you to feel safe when you're with me,_

_(despite what has happened in the past)_

_Because I'd be damned if you're not._

_I want it to mean persistency,_

_Because I will, and have, fought for you my entire life._

_Whether you knew it or not._

_I want it to mean trust,_

_That you can trust me enough to know that everything will be ok._

_But most of all, Roxanne, the thing I feel the most important when I say 'I love you',_

_Is that I vow, to try for every day for the rest of my life, to never hurt you again._

_Because I've already caused enough pain in your life. _

Roxanne breathed out as she finished reading the poem. She touched her cheek, and her mouth creased at the fact she felt moisture running down her face. She attempted to wipe it away, and she jumped as she turned around. Facing back was her boyfriend, just about as stunned as she was as he stood next to the opening of the curtain. She felt as if she'd burst at any moment if she didn't react quick enough. Gravity had shifted from below to a few feet infront of her, and she was pulled toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She buried her face into his chest, moving her hands there as well as she felt him wrap his arms around her waist and his head rested against the side of hers.

"It_ is_ a strong word." She whispered, "So I love you, too."

**Sorry if this was too mushy..or out of character, or kinda cliche. haha****.**

**I've never really been good at writing poems, nor do I ever really read any, but these two just seem to have really improved my writing…whether it's the fact it's a nice, solid storyline for me to work with, or it's the constructive criticism you guys give back to me. Every author loves feedback because it helps them improve.**


	12. Advice

"Oh gosh, tomorrows' Valentine's Day, isn't it?" Megamind said over to his fish companion, freezing in place.

"Yep! What're you planning to get Roxanne?"

"Uh…." His eyes widened, "Minion, I have no idea. Well…girls like flowers, don't they? Or I could make a diamond. I bet she'd like that, right?"

"How about a poem?"

"A poem?"

"Sure, why not? It shows you put in time and work to do it."

"Making a diamond takes time and work. Maybe the way I make it doesn't take as _long…_as nature would, but regardless it takes time."

"No, a poem would be much better; it'd show her how much you care for her."

"Don't get mushy on me, Minion. Its kind of weird. And you of all people should know I'm not the poetic, wordy writing type."

"You don't have to be. Just sit here-" He pointed to the chair next to his desk, and pushed down on his shoulders to make him sit.

"And just write how you feel about her."

"But I can't…think…poetically. I've never-" he said as he turned back to Minion.

"Then don't think." He smiled, "Don't speak through here-" He pointed to his tank and temple, then movied his hand to point to the right side of Megamind's chest. The blue hero huffed, rolling his eyes.

"You know that's physically impossible, Minion."

"Metaphorically speaking, sir."

"Ugh, that's it! I can't even understand the simplest metaphoric phrase! I'm doomed."

"Look, Roxanne will love it no matter what as long as you _try. _It's the fact you put time into it that will matter. Now you are not to leave this spot until you're done."

"No pressure…" He mumbled.

"Nope; just remember, don't think it…_feel _it."

Minion closed the curtain to leave him in peace and walked off. Megamind swiveled his chair back around to his desk and picked up the pencil,

'_Roxanne, you know I'm not that good at poetry-'_ he huffed, scribbled it out and crumpled up the top paper, revealing a clean one beneath.

"This is going to be a long night…"

**A little advice from Minion. ;) **

**I figured he'd be the one to induce the idea…him with that type of personality. ;D**


	13. Just A Precaution

**Keep in mind, they're in Michigan if you look at where the Death Ray hits.**

"Sir you should _really _empty your pockets more often!" Minion repeated himself as he heaved the clean clothes into Megamind's arms. The unconscious Bernard was still thrown over Minion's shoulder.

"What? I-"

"Bernard was still in your pajama pocket…" Megamind's face fell immediately as he looked at Bernard.

"Oh." He said as his eyes went over to Minion, unsure, "What are we going to do with him?"

"Bring him back to his house…where else?"

"_I can't risk Roxanne interacting with Bernard, now…after all, she was attracted to __**him, **__first_…" Megamind dropped the pile of clothes on the ground before he spoke, standing straighter and gathering himself.

"You know…" He said as he chuckled, discreetly nervous.

"Why don't we just give ol' Bernard here a nice vacation to Africa…for, oh, maybe thirty years?" Minion raised an eyebrow questionably to him.

"Sir?"

"Or Australia…yes, that's even better. Lots of…" He cleared his throat, stepping away, "Kangaroos."

"This is about Roxanne, isn't it? You're worried about if she still feels something for him-"

"No! That's..ha-" He laughed, stepping away, "that's ridiculous. I'm simply giving him an apology gift. You know, for using his image…dehydrating him, sending him in the washer…_and_ you knocking him out." Minion raised an eyebrow at him, crossing his mechanical arms.

"Ok, fine! I admit it; I _am _worried. But it's just a precaution. Seriously, _you _weren't there when she looked at him….er, me…well, his image, and that's what was important! But thirty years isn't bad, is it? And Australia is nice…"

"Two years in California." Minion protested.

"Ten years in California."

"Four."

"Done!"

**I did have a typo that Karen B. Jones pointed out for me and I thank you; he would have been in his pajama pocket. Like I said; I read all my reviews! xD**

**With _keeping_ him in California or where ever, I guess Megamind still wouldn't think things out completely...xD**

**Or he is the hero now; and he had to have some extra money from his villain years...me could've just rented a vacation spot or something for him, maybe. xD**


	14. Surprise?

**I thought of this and just the thought of it made me crack up. I was at our cabin upnorth and everyone was sleeping, so it was **_**so **_**hard not to laugh too loud, I was **_**hysterical**_** typing this! Post movie.**

"_You!" _The warden yelled at the blue hero, though in this case, he was looking more like the villain again.

"Now, now…" Megamind said, avoiding him by moving to the other side of the coffee table, "lets not be hasty…Roxanne is fine, and if it makes you feel any better, she was the one that wanted it…" he shrugged nervously.

"Gahh!" The warden shook his head angrily and moved at him quicker. _Bad choice of words._

"Oh, yeah…I'm sure she wanted to be _knocked up _by the man who kidnapped her, her entire life! It was pretty dumb of you not to have her here…now I can _kill _you…" Megamind nearly tripped as he tried to move around a corner of the coffee table.

"Look, look..I understand the whole _father daughter _'protective mode' thing…but hey, if you kill _me,_ then you're leaving Roxanne a single mother and, uh…you don't want to do that, do you?" The warden stopped momentarily and breathed out, shaking his head to himself. Megamind stopped as well, watching his potential father-in-law's reaction.

"Guess you're right…" He sighed angrily, "I swear, if you do _anything _to-"

"I won't! I won't, I promise…_smooth _pregnancy, that's what we're all hoping for…" Megamind breathed out and relaxed as he watched the warden's expression soften. He sat down on the chair nearest to him.

"I still can't believe she ended up with _you._" Megamind shrugged,

"Ok…I deserved that." He meant to just think it, but ended up saying it aloud. The warden laughed.

"Yeah. Ya' did." He shook his head, then rubbed his face with both his hands,

"I can't believe my little girls' _pregnant…_And the _father_ is a convict… heck, a _villain _for pete's sake…I work at the prison, at the very least I'd think _that _would be the type I'd try keep her away from."

"Hey, hey…_ex _villain and _ex _convict…" He smiled, though still unsure, "All in the past. I'm the hero now, remember?"

"Hmm…well, you aren't exactly looking like the _hero _to _me _right about now." Megamind paused for a second before faintly laughing through his nose,

"Well, just think; you'll be a grandpa! It'll fit your gray….um…" The warden turned and glared at him.

"Gray…personality! You know, uh…verifying that seniority over other people-"

"Just stop now, Megamind. Before you dig the hole any deeper."

"Yeah, I guess that'd be best…"Megamind nodded submissively. What was such the big deal? He had dealt with the warden dozens of times, and not once was he scared of him, before. Though now, after Roxanne had _told _him that the warden was her father, even after all the years he had been around the warden, a sort of new respect found it's way through. Considering that that man had seen _everything _he had done, kidnapping his daughter, 'destroying' Metro Man, terrorizing the city, creating supposedly 'deadly' weapons, and the warden monitored _every _movement he made…and now he was telling that man that he was the father of his daughter's child. His résumé didn't exactly look good for _father of the year_.

Heck, Megamind didn't even understand how the warden had allowed Roxanne to be with him; _he_ had always taken the direct blow from Megamind when ever he had escaped, whether it was being tied up, shut in a cell, or having his identity stolen.

"So James-….uh, Mr. Richi…." Megamind scrambled for words as his father in law glared again at him.

"Dad?" He asked, uncomfortably suggestive.

"Yup?" He finally sighed.

"Theres always been one thing I've wanted to ask you…and I guess I really never had a reason to until now…" Megamind cut off.

"I'm listening."

"Why did you…allow…Roxanne to be with me? I mean, obviously you knew what was going on…" the uncomfortable atmosphere rose again, his eyes widened as he realized what the meaning would have passed for, and he tried to patch his wording up, "Uh, I mean, you know…me kidnapping her…now this…uh, situation…" The warden looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, "there wasn't much I could do, was there?" Megamind didn't move, not sure if he understood. The warden sat up straighter,

"Megamind, I would never be able to have police go after you, especially _alone._ Good God, I couldn't even get the entire force to go after you. What was I supposed to do? You've been charged with so many other crimes I'm sure even _you _can't count, and you've been in prison for most of your life, but you just kept breaking out. Theres almost no point in trying to convict you of anything else; just throwing away money to lawyers and investing in something that'll break out with the crime, anyway." He sighed, "Though I was very lucky you weren't after Roxanne…for _other _reasons…you know, that type of villain who-"

"_No! _No, I can assure you that was _never _my intention, and I had never even considered it! She was just bait for Metro Man….that's it; that was all…" He trailed off, "though of course, now that we're together, she had-"

"_Keep it up, and I will __**fix**__ you right here and now, you overgrown smurf!" _the warden hissed. Though it silenced him almost instantly, he couldn't help but chuckle just a _little_ with that very last comment. Even if it was just internally; just the slightest appreciation for his witty humor.

"Ok, ok, again….I probably deserved that…" he gulped as the warden looked back away. There was a very long silence before the warden laughed through his nose.

"But…" He turned back to Megamind, "atleast I won't have to worry about the baby being safe. You being the 'most dangerous man' on the planet and everything; no one would dare to even go near him or her…because of who their father is. Even if in the case of the slightest chance that something _does _happen, I'll know they'll get what they deserve." Megamind's eyes brightened,

"Exactly! I mean, you can't get any more dangerous then me, can you? No villain or bad guy would even consider going after them." He stopped for a second, contemplating what he had just said, and how bad it sounded. But on the surface, it sounded better, and what ever kept his father-in-law feeling more secure about the situation, "you can trust that I will protect the baby with my life. I mean, you're a father; you know how it feels." The warden smiled back warmly, nodding,

"Yeah, that's definitely true." He laughed, "Its too bad _my life _wouldn't have been enough to keep Roxanne from you."

"Roxannes' just as safe as the baby…she always has been."

"That's a bit hard to believe."

"Well, even when I was the villain…I would never have hurt her. Between you and me, don't tell anyone, but when I was planning my plots against Metro Man, that was the thing I spent the most time on; keeping Roxanne safe, and making sure if anything went wrong, I could get her out of it easily. It may've looked dangerous, but it never was…not really, anyway…"

"Oh yes, because that makes me feel much better about you using my daughter as bait…faking that she was in danger." Megamind shrugged,

"It was worth a try." The warden put his hands on his knees before standing up from his chair and holding out a hand. Megamind flinched back at first, but then cautiously shook his hand.

"Take care of them for me."

"Always will."

"Good…because if you don't, that promise from earlier still stands."

**XD You know, I didn't see this until after I started typing this, but if you look at the warden, atleast in his younger days when MM was a kid, he did have brown hair…and he does have blue eyes. xD**

**If you didn't catch it, though I'm hoping you did,(because I've had questions about my 'hinting' before) what the warden was glad about was that MM wasn't like a villain in the way that he never raped her…(XZ…the words' very alien; to me, anyway, with this fandom…so its very raw…and strange...)**

**And like the warden was saying, MM was the most dangerous, you couldn't get any worse then him, so any of the other villains wouldn't dare go after the baby…so because he was extremely dangerous, the baby would be very safe. XD Think about it this way, if you were a criminal, going after a bank accountant's kid would be much easier then going after a mob boss's kid. xD**


	15. Bad Idea

**We had read 'The Book Thief' in class (obviously before now in summer) and it gave me the idea for this.**

**I had started this during the school year..it just took me forever to 'end' it.**

**WARNING: If you are planning to read The Book Thief but haven't or are in the process of reading it, I advise you not to read this one. Those of you who aren't planning to or already have, feel free to, obviously. It doesn't actually give anything away, but...lol **

**I hope I don't screw this up, but I'm going to try to write in The Book Thief's style, and in Death's narroration. **

There were splashes of red and purple and the taste of ash, and I made my way toward the body. I approached the soul and the woman that sat over him. Getting a closer look, I noticed it wasn't something I usually encountered. The man was different. Blue.

The circumstances of course weren't different. The woman was screaming for him to wake up, holding his face. Crying for a miracle. It's funny how people always do the same, predictable thing.

As I tried to gather his soul, it was hard and heavy, facing toward the brunette that sat over him. He paid no attention to me, and I wasn't sure if it was either because he didn't know I was there, or if he was trying as hard as he could to ignore me. He was strangely unfamiliar; not only by his appearance, but by how _hard _it was to collect him. This hadn't been the first time I had seen him, he had encountered and escaped me more then most. Maybe that was why I could never take him, because he was less familiar.

It was easier for him to slip past me.

How strange and amazing was it to see a human more in tune with him then I was! Their souls were the same, the ability to die, the self-consciousness, and everything else that made a soul a _soul_, of course, but his physical being was different.

Though I recall taking many like him. About thirty years ago. Yes, I remember them.

So many bodies. Such a sad way to go.

The brunette leaned down and kissed him, and I can tell you there are not many who have been so determined as him to stay. He sucked in a breath of air as I released him and his eyes snapped open. His hand instantly reached towards hers that covered his face and intertwined her fingers with his own. He rested his head into her hand as he took in another gasp of air. As his breathing began to regulate and the woman sat there still in shock, lost for words, she heard him faintly chuckle beneath her. She looked at him with a questioning glance as his chuckle developed louder, though still raspy.

"I _told_ you that was a bad idea." He weakly shook his head.

It amazes me how willful a soul can be.

**I wasn't really sure what had happened to him, but I'm guessing maybe some explosion in the lab…maybe he was showing Roxanne something and she used the wrong chemical…that sort of thing. *shrugs***


	16. The Bank

**Post movie. XD I thought just a cute idea…I was out fourwheeling in the woods when I thought of it….….the **_**weirdest **_**times….**

As Megamind walked carefully into the building, the surrounding people turned to cautiously watch him slowly make his way toward the counter. The man behind the glass did a double take as the blue retired supervillain approached him. He yelped, curling away from him.

"Ahh! Take the money, take whatever you want, please, it's my first day! You can have-"

"Whoa, whoa…." Megamind surrendered his hands, raising an eyebrow and clenching his teeth nervously, "I'm not like that anymore. I'm not here to rob anyone." The man lowered his arms away from blocking his face.

"Oh…Oh…" He said as he allowed more eye contact and sat straighter. "Well….then why _are _you here?" he asked, his tone still submissive.

"I wanted to start a new account." Megamind replied and the man relaxed with a short sigh, his shoulders lowering.

"Oh…o-ok…." The man smiled and typed something on his computer. Megamind smirked and leaned forward.

"Gosh, your first day? Scary rough start, huh? Here you thought I was about to come in here, rob the bank, and _you _would get the first breath of it…not even being here for a few hours." The man looked up cautiously, and Megamind's smile warmed.

"Don't worry, kid. I'm the good guy, now. Besides, I'm not too sure of many thieves come quietly through the door." He blinked, "…oh…well…" His thoughts drifted to the old movies where the men would discreetly carry a gun in a sack and walk up to the counter and point it to the employee's head. "Well, a _supervillain _like me wouldn't come in quietly…" The man's eyes widened, and Megamind raised his hands again.

"No, no! I'm not a supervillain _now._ I was…I...you know, maybe I should just quit talking. I've already ruined your day." The man nodded nervously and lowered his face below the computer screen. Megamind sighed.

'_Why does normal life have to be so difficult?'_


	17. Demon'

**XD ok, before I start some flame war with this, this was NOT made to offend anyone. It was just a little thing I thought about after watching The Rite….for some reason…then I thought about Little Nicky and, well, **_**this **_**happened. Lol Don't ask me how I think up this stuff…it's a very strange phenomenon. XD**

**Anyway, this would have been during the movie, while Roxanne and 'Bernard' were still going out.**

"You're not checking anything out?" Roxanne asked her partner as she held the cluster of books in her left arm.

"Uh…n-no, got it all up here-" He pointed to his temple before shrugging, "I've read a lot of them already, anyway." He smiled as Roxanne turned away from him to set the books on the counter.

"Bring them back in two weeks." The lady behind the counter instructed her.

"No problem." She said, picking the books up and they headed out the door. They began to walk down the street before Bernard stopped abruptly.

"What?" Roxanne asked, glancing at him.

"Ugh…that guy down there…just don't make eye contact." Roxanne twitched an eyebrow, trying to look down the street at whom he was referring to. The man was older and scrawny, with rags thrown about his body and more white hair around his mouth then atop of his head. He was leaning against the side of a building with a metal cup next to him. The two cautiously walked by, Bernard the closest to him, when he man's head tilted up to watch him walk past. He jumped up as the disguised Bernard passed him.

"_You!" _Roxanne stopped to watch the man.

"Just c'mon, really-" Bernard took her arm, but she shrugged it away.

"What's his problem?"

"There is evil behind that man's eyes! He is hidden well, though his eyes are without a mask! Look into him and you will find the demon!"

"What's he talking about?" Roxanne looked back at Bernard, who rolled his eyes.

"The guys' mental; he lives on the sidewalk and eats garbage. Chances are nothing better is gunna' come back out of his mouth."

"Its tongue is deceiving and clever; though I am but a lowly man, I can smell the devil radiating from his image trickery!" Bernard cocked an eyebrow, running back through the last phase to make sure he heard it right.

"He has already seduced the woman with his deceptive charm; do not let him fool _you_!" "Hey!" Roxanne's eyes widened as she shoved the books into Bernard's chest to hold them.

"Just who do you think you are?"

"Roxanne, c'mon, it's not worth-" Bernard took her arm, pulling her back away from the man.

"Soon you will learn, my dear, how he has fooled you. It is unwise to associate yourself with such an evil creature!" Roxanne shot one look back at the man before turning back to Bernard.

"Gosh…I kinda' feel _bad _for the guy… I mean, being dillusional like that…_and _being homeless…"

"Heh, right….dillusional…" Megamind blinked, throwing an arm over Roxanne's shoulder.

XD 


	18. Stalkers

"Minion?" Megamind called cautiously as he sat at his desk.

"What?"

"Have you…seen this?" Megamind asked as he gestured toward the screen.

"Seen what?"

"This site-fanfiction…I tell you what; there's some really _strange _people on here…it's like…having hundreds of stalkers thinking up stories of how your life should go…it's kind of creepy…" He shook his head, "And that's not the only site with us…youtube, Livejournal, DeviantART…"

"I'm on them, too?" He asked, moving closer.

"Oh, yes…yes, both of us…Roxanne, Metro Man, Hal…everyone…" He gritted his teeth, "there's some…_revolting_ pairings…" He shivered, crinkling his nose as he glanced at a screen with the pairing of himself and Hal.

"Oh…" Minion murmured.

"Yes,_ oh_! What these people come up with is inconceivable!" Looking away, Megamind clicked over to a picture with Minion, and he heard the fish gag behind him.

"Wha…wha?" He finally tried to say.

"I don't know."

"I'm…I'm, uh…gunna' go take a shower…" Minion shivered, turning away.

"You're already in a tank underwa-"

"I know…" Minion said back, his voice off-beat. Megamind turned back to his labtop and clicked over to a tab at DeviantART.

'_although…' _he stroked the goatee on his chin and cocked an eyebrow as he sat back in his chair, analyzing a picture with himself and Roxanne.

"Megamind?" Roxanne called from the other room. He jumped, frantically reaching for his labtop to shut it and laid his arms across it.

"Nothing!"

xDD It may be a good thing these guys don't exist…we'd probably mortify them with some of the ideas we've came up with, pictures and amv videos. XDD

**I didn't have any pictures necessarily in mind while I wrote this…I've not actually seen a…*ahem* xD 'mature' picture with Minion…so…lol (XD I hope I'm not giving anyone ideas…..….xD!) **


	19. Encounter

I was new to Metro City...an average, run-of-the-mill worker transferring to what I thought was an average, run-of-the-mill city...

But there was nothing _average _about what I saw that night...

I was just getting out of work and closing the place up, ready to get back home, go to bed and start it all over again. The streets were dead silent, which was surprising considering what it had been during the day. I fiddled in my purse for my keys when a sort of strange glint in the road caught my eye. At first I thought it was just my eyes playing tricks on me, it was a long day at work...and I needed the sleep. I would have just wrote it off if I hadn't heard a door from a nearby apartment complex open. Being the paranoid person alone in the oddly silent street that I was, I scanned for a nearby alley or some way to make myself invisible incase I had misjudged the security of this town. Problem was, even if there _was _somewhere I could hide...my brain wouldn't have registered the thought process. My entire body froze and my heart sank when I saw the person walk down the apartment steps. It was a man; a scrawny man, that much I could make out...but that was the only _normal _characteristic I could comprehend. His skin was..._blue_? And his head was about twice the size it should have been. He had woman shrugged over his shoulder...and she looked unconcious.

The logical response should have been to run over and help the poor woman being kidnapped by the strange creature, but my legs wouldn't move. Nothing responsed back to me as I tried to comprehend what I was seeing. It only got worse when I saw him reach out into the street as if to look for something or grab something and there was a sort of distortion of the light in the road. Like he was pealing open a door from nothing and climbing in. When he opened it I could see an outline of solid black behind it that indicated there was..._something _within that door...like it was a car door almost. I could make out the murmur from an engine as it inched away, and I could feel myself thaw. I let go of my held breath and I blinked, trying to recall what I thought I just saw. _How am I supposed to call the police? 'Oh hey, I saw this woman kidnapped by some blue man taking off in a car. The license plate number? Well, the car was invisible...I couldn't tell.' _I really wasn't sure how to react at that point, my head was too busy with questions to do much else. When I finally had the strength to, I pushed myself to retreat back to my car. It was a slow and silent ride home, my hands cautiously gripping the wheel and half-expecting the weird blue man in the invisible car to follow and track me down...knowing I had seen what he had done. Had he seen me? It may have been too dark out... but what if he did? Come to think of it, how would I know if he was following me?

An overwhelming anxiety only fueled my paranoia, my eyes constantly darting to my mirrors and back.

When I finally got home I went straight to bed and though it was hard to sleep, the image of the man replaying in my head like a broken record, I eventually was able to drift off.

The next morning, the same woman I had seen the night before was reporting the news and though she had a look that suggested she had been without sleep the night before as well, I was relieved to see that she was ok. That what ever that strange blue creature had decided to do with her at _least _wasn't fatal in the end.

A few days passed and with very little effort, it became more and more clear.

This was _not _a average city.

* * *

><p><strong>Random new citizen. xD I might make a quick little follow-up to this in the future...<strong>

**Ok...sorry for you guys watching any of my other fanfics...laptop decided to kick the bucket and in the process, take a few unfinished chapters with it. B( with 'Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover', I actually had the entire next chapter done, and I was going to upload it the next day...but that was when my computer decided to die... B( Soooo...I have to rewrite the entire chapter...which sucks because it's never good the second time 'round...it's based on memory, not quality. :/**


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